A Day at the Cinema
A short story by Chris Pollard

Part of the Second Doctor Fiction collection

The Doctor smiled at the monitor; it revealed a placid Earth, one free of Glaciers and psychopathic Martians, instead specialising in flowery summer dresses and puppies.

"Where are we Doctor?" asked Jamie, excited by the prospect of a new adventure despite the stigma of more deadly aliens.

"I hope it's nice and warm!" added Vicky.

"Well, it looks like we're back in 60's USA," said the Doctor. "Of course that would be forward to the 60's to you two cavemen!" he teased.

"What's wrong with living in caves?" asked Jamie. "If it weren't for the spider in the cave, Robert would have given in and ah'd be a Sassenach today."

"Yes," mused the Doctor, "I liked Robert, until he got leprosy and his hands fell off."

Jamie grinned at the Doctors silly story, "Ah bet he could still decapitate an Englishman hands or no."

The Doctor led them out of the TARDIS. "Stranger things have happened. My friend Ash had only one hand and he saved the world without even running out of gasoline." The Doctor paused momentarily. "Or was it just a film? Speaking of which why don't we visit the pictures?"

"What's a fillum?" quizzed Jamie.

"Oh silly," grinned Victoria, "he means one of the electric lantern trickshows."

"You might be surprised my dear," smiled the Doctor. "They've come a long way since you're time."

***

"Alectrisitee," spat Jamie, "Alectrisitee. That's where the pictures come from is it no?"

"El-ec-tri-city," corrected Victoria, "You didn't have that in your time did you?"

"Ah lived in a big cave with a hundred Sabre Toothed tigers," joked Jamie, "And whenever we saw a Victorian girl we had tae eat her for food!"

"Speaking of food," the Doctor appeared from behind Victoria and Jamie's seats, "here's a hot dog for you both, and some popcorn."

"We're eatin dog?" Jamie was dumbstruck.

"I thought you were a lady eating savage?" giggled Victoria. "Its not really dog, is it Doctor?"

"I don't think it's really meat," answered the Doctor sincerely, "now quiet while we watch the film."

First up was an advertisement for something called a Popsicle. It seemed that all five-year-olds in America yearned for a lump of ice between their pristine teeth, and that all parents loved to smile and watch their child eat said ice. "Eat Dewey Popsicle's and get a brighter smile!" boasted one of the grinning parents before a tune played and the add was over.

The film itself was about some man stuck on a planet full of apes. Eventually it ended to leave Jamie and Victoria stunned for exactly the wrong reasons.

"How can they see into the future like this?" asked Victoria. "And how did the apes take over?"

"Should we go and help him?" asked Jamie of Taylor.

"We could stop the apes from taking over couldn't we?" added Victoria.

"No, no, it's not real," corrected the Doctor. "It's just a story."

"Nah," said Jamie, "Ah saw it, you can't tell me it didn't happen."

"Yes, with noises and colour and everything." Victoria was also convinced.

"It was all actors, people playing make believe," explained the Doctor.

"Then how did it get on the communicator?" This didn't make sense to Victoria.

"No it wasn't a communicator, it was made up to entertain." The Doctor was growing exasperated.

"It's okay, we believe you," said Victoria. Jamie nodded in agreement, but they shared a knowing wink outside of the Doctor's sight.

Finally after the film came a public information film about a turtle in dire peril. The animated reptile explained to viewers how in the event of a nuclear strike by the bad commies that everyone should hide under a table, and would thereby be protected from the roasting flames and the radiation that followed.

The turtle did a little dance accompanied by the lyrics "Duck and Cover".

Jamie and Victoria both looked confused so the Doctor explained. "That was a cartoon, like a moving picture."

"But what about the nuclear explosions what are they?" This still didn't make any sense to Victoria.

"A state of cold war." The Doctor looked grave. "But luckily it doesn't come to anything this time."

"I think your going to have to explain a bit more."

Jamie and Victoria laughed.

"Ah think ah've got it Doctor. All the moving pictures were made up, so that they could be shown with Alectrisitee!"

"Very good Jamie, do you see Victoria?"

"I think so, none of it was real, I understood better after you explained nuclear war. That was just so silly I knew it couldn't be real."

"Aye, Ah don't think humans are that stupid Doctor - especially not in the future."

